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Game of Thrones Bollywood Remake: Some suggestions for a Sanskari Adaptation

Game of Thrones has taken the world by storm. More importantly, it has taken desis by storm too, although initially it seemed unlikely considering the nature of the content. Now, considering Bollywood’s penchant for remakes and strange imitations, we can expect something similar very soon. But surely it cannot be a made as it is as a lot of the content will not be approved by Pahlaj uncle. So, here is a look at what a GoT remake would look like in India.

Jaime and Cersei

No, they won’t have children between themselves, c’mon this is India! But we will have them carry some terrible secret, like her kids were born out of wedlock, but only due to some unavoidable circumstances. Besides, every season will have a Rakhi special episode to celebrate their bond.

Petyr Baelish

Again, his little “business” is not good for the society. We would rather have him do something less harmful and culturally acceptable such as a gambling den or a desi liqueur joint with Sunny Leone as secretary.

John Snow

Good looking but too morose for mainstream Bollywood. He is the main draw for the female audience. So, he must be able to sing and dance, even while dying. Yes, a good choreographer has to be recruited too.

Daenerys

She is cool but we don’t have dragons in our culture. She just should not have all those lovers after the death of her husband and find some clothes that do not burn. And what should she ride? A peacock is not a bad idea as it is also our national bird. What did you say? Peacock does not look fearsome? Never seen Kung Fu Panda 2?

Tyrion

He is clever, witty, perhaps a bit too intelligent. We prefer people who are not that hard to understand but can still show people their place… Like KRK does? (Yes, I hate myself for coming up with this)

High Sparrow

To be frank, I was never a fan of him. He was too moralistic and frankly boring. Even real life religious gurus in India are much cooler. What about casting MSG?

White walkers

Zombies do not go well with desi audience, as the business of Go Goa Gone showed. They need to be something different. An army of Brahmarakshasas? But even Creature 3D din’t do that well. I am not sure about this one. BTW I have seen jokes comparing the Night’s King’s posture to that of Shahrukh Khan’s. Hope you are not thinking what I am thinking!

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